Religiously Routine, Ritualistically Regular

Regularity is hugely important in our lives; it's the basis of day-to-day functionality. [Insert bowel-movement joke here.] We do all sorts of things every day with regularity, but are those things regular occurrences? Or are they little rituals we have? That sounds cultish, so maybe they're routines of ours... These little habits, do we do them religiously? 

© Spencer Higgs, 2012

One of my little habits, one of these little things I did day-to-day, was drink. Yes, alcohol; yes, copiously. However, as of today, I'm a day or two out of what was a month-long temperance movement. A little 'time out' from alcohol after what have proven to be a rather indulgent few months, especially that month of and preceding the holidays. So a month off to cleanse and be in control – to break habit and prove I wasn't alcoholic – sounded good. Right, I'm a drinker, but what kind? I'm certainly not dependant (in fact, now free of abstinence practice, I still don't feel any urge to drink), but did I drink copious amounts of alcohol religiously, routinely, ritualistically, or regularly? In a fit of inability to describe myself, I decided to learn the difference in these very similar words, and then share my findings. 

Lucky you. 

Ritualistically Speaking

I learned in a social anthropology class that rituals are bad, but don't necessarily have to be performed in dark room with with like-minded brainwashed individuals eager to drink the specially-spiked punch. No, rituals are not the cultish practices adorned by, uh, cults. We all have little rituals (I always brush my teeth and pee before going to bed, otherwise I lose sleep worrying about plaque build-up and inevitably wake around midnight needing to urinate... There: a little TMI factoid about your author). It's important to break rituals to keep our bodies and minds sharp. (I still brush my teeth and pee before bed, but, for instance, sometimes I try brushing my teeth with the other hand. As far as peeing, I don't suggest experimenting with alternative methods. If you've got this far in life, you've clearly found one that works; just stick with it.)

Apple™ Dictionary describes 'ritualism' (|ˈri ch oōəˌlizəm|) as thus: 

the regular observance or practice of ritual, esp. when excessive or without regard to its function.

... with 'ritual being: "a religious or solemn ceremony consisting of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order." (I've underlined the relevant words in this definition.) 

So, while the formal idea of rituals certainly harbours cultic/religious undertones, it's generally accepted that rituals are the little doings within what is being done at large. Wow, that's vague. Okay, rituals are the brush strokes of the big picture. Regarding my drinking (since this is about me and my pretend pathologies), I drank a lot largely because it was fun, but also because I was dealing with the throes onset by a depressingly awful job. I drank excessively and without regard to myself or the fact that instead of drinking my job away, I should just quit. 

Which I did. Hurray for me! Let's have a drink!

Religiously Inclined

So, while I might have been a ritualistic drinker, the second definition regards rituals as religious ceremonies with set order. How austere is said order, I wondered? Well, the definition of 'religious' that we're concerned with (and I'll hereby disclaim that all definitions in this post are from Apple™ Dictionary) is: 

treated or regarded with a devotion and scrupulousness appropriate to worship

... implying that their religious execution makes rituals and routines (we'll get to the latter in a second) difficult to break. Someone who drinks regularly may not be an alcoholic: drinking being what he does frequently, but not with binding compliance. One who drinks religiously may be alcoholic, the scrupulousness with which he drinks, with which he performs his ritual, makes abstinence near impossible, even difficult to envisage because of the emotionality supporting it. (For instance: one who drinks because he's sad, or the thought that a drink is needed. Sadness and neediness being the driving emotions.)

But don't rush to host intervention on someone claiming to drink religiously! He might just be devoutly pious, only indulging in alcohol during the sacramental Communion at church. Probably not, though, but proof that "religious" is a great word to play around with, linguistically. Apart from the occasional blasphemy ("Good God, that's a tasty IPA!"), it's safe to say I'm not a religious drinker.

A religious drinker (in the sense of alcohol) isn't a routine drinker, though a routine might be religiously followed. For instance, a chap might drop exactly four ice cubes, one by one, into a crystal tumbler, followed by two ounces of bourbon and a quarter-inch wedge of lime, recollect lugubriously of a time when things were simple, and quickly stir his drink one and a half times with the middle finger of his left hand. Always. That, friends, is routine followed religiously and ritualistically. A non-alcoholic drinker may follow strict, ritualistic routine as well, of course. And if an alcoholic can't quit 'cold turkey', a routine may have to be followed to reach a temperance goal.

Well, I Guess We're On To Routines, Eh.

Routines, however, are more commonly thought of in regards to mundane execution. I don't mean mundane execution like an effete king listlessly gesticulating a wrist-flick and banally mumbling, "to the gallows with him then..." I'm thinking something far more relative to most of us than being sent to the gallows (though, to some, maybe every bit as bad): jobs.

Routine: noun: a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program

Interestingly enough, 'routine' in its adjective form, is something "performed as part of a regular procedure than a special reason"; "monotonous" and "tedious." And, in regards to computing, "a sequence of instructions for performing a task that forms a program." Kind of dispiriting if you've ever had a secretarial desk job. Or a bad boss. 

Some jobs out there provide ample satisfaction, security, freedom, stimulation, and excitement. Others don't. Others may be so boring they provoke religious drinking habits. Many of these boring jobs are boring because of the routines that must be followed. Endless examples spring to mind, but I'll let your imagination or personal experience take the reigns here. Such jobs, office jobs usually, wherein one day is invariably similar to the ones before and the ones to come... where piles of paperwork – forms, memos, contracts – needing to be completed in a very specific way by the end of the day, the week, the quarter stack up endlessly... It's all the same; thanks to routine, days are regular. 

On a lighter and more relevant note, I'm happy to have learned that I really can't be a routine drinker, though I do drink with routine. In fact, from ordering to opening your drink of choice, a routine is inevitably and regularly followed. Drinking routinely simply implies following some procedure or another.

Regularity: The Good Shit. 

And now we're back to the word that started it all: Regularity. Regular, incidentally and ironically, is anything but. Or, at least, is less austere than its three relatives: Routine, Ritual, and Religious. Which is why even my spontaneous side is O.K. with regularity. While most adults regard regularity as the benefit of a high-fibre diet, Apple™ Dictionary regards it (or, rather, it's root (regular) as: "done or happening frequently."

Regularity, then, is flexible; it can be strict or lenient. In terms of libations, regular drinkers, view the occasional beer – or twelve pack thereof – as something enjoyed, or perhaps earned. Drinking with regularity can mean drinking often or a lot, or drinking a lot often. Regular drinks, by definition, are the popular ones: Cabs and Chards, macro brews, Absolut... Regular drinking includes anything from a glass of wine with dinner to the Saturday night binge with friends. Regular drinkers perhaps have their rituals, but I hope are not religious about them. Strict or obvious patterns don't necessarily have to be followed to be regular. Or they may pattern unwaveringly. 

So it is that drinking with regularity is a common, albeit inconsistent, habit. I'm, then, a regular drinker. And perhaps that's best. 

What kind of [habet]er are you?