Dr. Samuel Johnson, by Joshua Reynolds (Wikipedia)
Dr. Samuel Johnson, the esteemed writer, critic, and lexicographer of the 1800s would hate me. Well, I like to think that we would get along pretty well, but he would certainly despise my writing. I'm partial to subtle puns, rhymes and alliterations, and circumlocution. Johnson didn't care for puns very much at all, and famously criticised writers who used a slew of words when one would do. He's one of the few, and first, to lay criticism on Shakespeare. He's famous for his Dictionary of the English Language (1755), in which he's compiled definitions of words based on how they were used previously and contemporarily. His famous collection of essays and opinions features what literati today refer to as The Johnson "But" or "Yet." Dr. Johnson frequently used these conjunctions to spin his arguments, giving an objective, two-sided view of the topic at hand. An excellent example, and darned-good read in general, is his collection of essays, The Rambler, which was published every Tuesday and Sunday from 1750 - 1752. Totally 208 short papers, the series covers, criticises, then defends everything from whores to procrastination. Check out, too, The Adventurer, a sister series based off Dr. Johnson's travels through Britain with Scottish author and contemporary, James Boswell. Like a good Englishmen, he drank good liquor. His greatest fear was poverty and, as he approached it, death. Apposite to his future, he was born above his father's bookstore in Lichfield, England. Today is his birthday.
While working on a project for a SoCal environmental consultation and conservation company, I spent some time perusing Google for some inspiration. Scanning the hovering thumbnails of eco-advertisements, my search yielded more than just creative inspiration for my project; it illumined the greater good that exists in the advertising and marketing industries. But ten minutes in idle scroll I also realised that, while some advertisements hit home with a solid emotional blow, others missed the mark in very fundamental ways. Behind-the-curtain kind of ways.
If You're Going To Ruin The Planet, You May As Well Try To Save It.
Okay, okay. I lied. I lied last-last time, in my post about Australian Ales, that the very next post would be about better ales--no, about Aussie porters. Instead, I spent a fortnight in the beautiful aquamarine mist of the Blue Mountains. But if it's any consolation, I spent every evening on a seductively silent porch, losing myself in the view of pristine landscape and taste of finely crafted Australian beers.
Hard to believe it, but I did indeed find some amazing beer in Australia. Though, I had to search long and hard for it, and it damn near wiped my wallet clean. But they're out there. Here are two. And these two are heavy hitters the whole craft-beer world over.
Moon Dog Brewery's Love Tap Double Lager
Holy Piss* A Lager I Actually LIKE!
Not just like, but love. Dear friends, it may come as a surprise to you, but I fell head over foam for this lager. For those of you who know me, who know me as the lauder of anti-lagers (i.e. Double IPAs and Imperial Stouts), I apologise if you weren't sitting down.
I love Love Tap because it looks, smells, tastes, feels, kicks like an IPA. An upfront citrus bouquet accompanies a bold and noticeable aroma of hops--followed by a bold and noticeable taste of hops. Slight but appreciated chocolate malts (yep, chocolate in an IPA-ish lager!) bear recognition to the beer's complexity, which is manifested in the hop-malt-yeast list on the label. From the citrusy taste, thick mouthfeel, and cloudy orange colour, only the finish is remotely like a lager; that is, it's a bit on the weak side. Which is fine; it's characteristic of the style. Still, you'd have a hard time convincing me it wasn't an IPA.
* "Piss" is Australian for beer. No shit.**
** "Shit" is unanimously a derogate word anywhere in the world.
Barossa Valley Brewing's Bee Sting
After a five-hour hike, few things are as nice as cold beer in the afternoon. Bee Sting suduced me with its honey wheat lovin'. It's an excellent, refreshing, superbly balanced Belgian-style wheat ale. The flavours of the yeast are quite noticeable on the palate, which substantiates its refreshing Belgian taste. But it's the distinct aroma and flavour of the orange blossom and honey marriage that stands out best, lightly sweetening the beer. Subsequently the mouthfeel is sweet, but not sticky. A plus in my books, and something Oscar Blues could take note of. Styrian Gold is the hop of choice, though providing a low level of bitterness. Nice, light spices provide a touch of complexity. This was the first Australian beer that actually impressed me.
Good alternatives to both, you ask?
Both Love Tap (if you can find it) and Bee Sting are going to cost you a pretty penny. 2,000 of them ($20) per four-pack, more precisely. $5 by the bottle. But if--nay, when-- you find yourself in the Land Down Under, keep your eye out for these alternatives. They're easier to find, and a whole $0.50-$1.00 cheaper!
Little Creatures is the brewery behind this solid, standard Imperial Pale Ale. At a only 6.4% ABV, it's not a knock-you-over IPA, but its hops are well balanced and flavourful.
White Rabbit Brewery crafts two easily-found ales: A dark and a white. Its witbier (the white) was a pleasant surprise, with a rich crispness and a slightly fuller body than you'd expect.
Now. To bestow some understanding as to why Australians err on the side of quantity over quality when it comes to beer, and to get you in the Australian-beer drinking mood:
Airports. They captivate me. As a traveller, I feel as excited and oddly comfortable in a new airport as I do a new city. The more you travel through airports, the more you learn their inner workings and understand their unanimous geography (and the less you "hate to travel"). Ladies, the same may be said for you and malls. And just as ladies can intuitively find the Victoria Secret store (so can guys; the 15ft banner of a seductive supermodel in sexy underwear is a bit of give-away), so can the seasoned airport-navigator find his reprieve. For me, that's the book store. In my recent New Zealand layover, perusing titles in the non-fiction isle of one such reprieve, I came across three books that have made it to the top of my reading list. Thought I'd share them.
I can't with honesty say it's my search for fine craft beer that's landed me in Australia; but in finding myself in Sydney, it's my love of suds that has me searching for fine Aussie craft brews. As if trying to find a new job and support myself in the most expensive city in the world weren't hard enough, finding Australian pale ales that don't pale in comparison to their American counterparts is dampening my Down Under spirits. Today, I'd like to review three craft pale ales from three emerging breweries here in Australia. Admittedly, these are the more accessible ales, but for any Australian brew-newcomers, let this serve as a welcome guide.
There are a few things to remember about beer in Australia...
It's common knowledge that big businesses like Nestle are trying to destroy the world, and it's up to startups, Ma & Pa shops, trendy West-Coasters, and selfless techies to stop them. But how? Well, seeing that the big picture is comprised of many brushstrokes, it comes down to that old cliché, "Every little bit counts." Take Ecosia as example, a new search engine that uses clicks to generate funds to offset deforestation in the Amazon...
The Atlantic Forest, Brazil. Can you believe this Eden is highly threatened by deforestation? Can you believe if you search "Atlantic Forest" with Ecosia you can help save it?
It has since been heralded the Craft Beer Revolution – the
cult following of microbrews blossoming, overflowing into the mainstream
throughout the last decade. Its popularization comes along with that of gourmet
gastropubs; incidentally, these new style eateries feature an array of craft
beers, while some craft breweries offer an eclectic gourmet food menu.With the climbing interest in flavorful beers
nation wide, that beer pairs as richly and complexly with food as wine does is
substantive, and restaurants, wholesalers, even roaming food trucks are
capitalizing on this truth.
However, be it gastropub-hosted beer pairings or
to-the-source Internet research, recommendations for honing your pairing palate
may leave you baffled. Why does one gastropub pair its spicy curry chicken
skewers with an IPA, while another opts for a porter? Fundamentally, the beers
are completely different. Baffling, indeed. But the answer is simple, perhaps
overly simple: food (and beer) is all about taste – your taste. And your taste
preferences vary from the chef’s and the brewer’s and your date’s and your
mates’. Not to mention, your tastes can change. There is, however one
unchanging, invariable constant when it comes to pairing beer with food.
Science.
While preferences vary between individuals, tastes and
flavors – and the combinations thereof – don’t. Much of this has to do with
chemical reactions (that science stuff I mentioned earlier). For instance,
bitterness and alcohol both, individually and collaboratively, enhance the
caustic quality of spices, while the sweetness of malts counters that heat. So,
why would a chef pair a bitter IPA with a spicy curry dish? Either he’s a
sadist, or he wants to accentuate the spices in his dish. Oppositely, the chef
pairing her dish with a porter might worry about that enhancing the spiciness
with an astringent and characteristically ABV-generous IPA may overpower the
other, perhaps more subtle flavors in her recipe. It all depends on the characteristics
you want to home your palate.
A Homerun Match*
The Dish:The Dubliner’s Beef Curry Stew. A
simple, yet delicious, and definitively spicy curry featuring tender pieces of
beef and flavorful vegetables.
The Beer:Breckenridge Vanilla Porter. I love
curry, and I like it with akick.
Anticipating just that, I ordered this dish with Breckenridge Brewery’s Vanilla Porter. The natural sweetnes of
malts, accompanied with this porter’s light vanilla tones and low ABV (4.0%),
balances and calms spiciness without detracting from the aromas and flavor of
this curry. Additionally, the malts’ light roasted flavor harmonizes with the
wholesomeness of the beef chunks, working with the fat to create a filling
meal.
The Outcome: This
turned out to be a great combo, perfect for that particular night: warm, with
outside seating. Not ideal for a super-spice meal; I didn’t particularly want
my forehead to start breaking out in sweat, tears to start pooling in my eyes,
and mucus to conspicuously drip from my nose – in front of my girlfriend.
The But: I’m a
hophead; IPAs are my favorite. If there had been a refreshing chill in the air,
an IPA would have been a stellar choice to heighten the heat of this stew. And
still, I could have taken it two ways: a somewhat carbonated IPA with the
fruitiness of cintra hops (like Sierra Nevada Torpedo Extra IPA) would have
turned on the heat, while the carbonation would have cut through the beef fat.
Alternatively, I could have got the same kick, but with the satiation of wholesome
meal with a smoother IPA like Ballast Point’s Big Eye IPA, or a super-smooth
nitro-infused brew.
Of course, there’s more to beer than just hops and malts,
more to food than just spice and fat. There are a plethora of taste and flavor
characteristics in both beer and food that work wonders (or plunders) with each
other. But it all depends on your specific tastes. With all the scientific
rules out there regarding beer and food pairings (Sweet increases Salt, Acid calms Salt,
Roast counters Sweet… it’s like an
elaborate, quasi-arbitrary game of rock-paper-scissors), the only rule you
should definitely follow happens to be a rule both of science and of thumb:
experiment. Enjoy both what you’re eating and what you’re drinking. If the
combination works out, great. If not, just order another beer. That always does
the trick.
* Homerun is the actual term designated for a truly great beer-food match.
Tips for a Healthy Thanksgiving. Heard Them All, Have You?
A Google search of "Healthy Thanksgiving Tips" will pull up roughly 144,000,000 results in a matter of 0.17 seconds. It's safe to say there's a hellova lot out there for making Turkey Day both satisfying and slimming. But those tips are all the same; seriously, go look at them: Ease off the butter; skip the stuffing; rethink going for thirds; each glass of wine is an extra 100 calories... Makes you less and less thankful the more you read about it. So, here are some tips for a healthy Thanksgiving that you won't find on the first page of Google (hey, no one reads past the first page anyway. True story.) and that won't have you holding off on that next glass of wine. (What the hell kind of advice was that anyway, Health Living!)
"What does gluten-free mean?" "It means it's good for you."
Above: Probably the most incorrect statement you'll ever hear whilst wandering through Whole Foods. Gluten Free has transformed from dietary necessity to public paradigm. Gluten-free diets are a necessity and relief for those suffering from celiac disease, something comedian Kelly Maclean would call "a rich, white-person problem." Funny, but statistically accurate. As most of the monetary wealth in America is owned by the top 1%, only "about 1% of Americans have celiac disease," explains WebMD. Incidentally, because of the expanding social indifference between "gluten free" and "healthy" most purchasers of gluten-free products don't and won't have a sensitivity to wheat. "Unless people are very careful," Dr. Peter Green, director of Columbia University's Celiac Disease Center told WebMD, who told me, "a gluten-free diet can lack vitamins, minerals, and fiber."
Essentially, unless toast gives you diarrhea, anemia, bone pains, and the severe rash known as dermatitis herpetiformis, abstaining from wheat products is not healthy, because, even though gluten isn't healthy for you in and of itself, whole grain products that contain gluten are rich in proteins, minerals, and B-Vitimens. But mainly, if you're gluten free for no good reason, you can't drink beer.
But if you are a sufferer of celiac disease, you still have options. Awareness over the disease has incited a call to action for brewers big and small, far and wide. While some gluten-free beers can hardly be considered beer – let alone palatable – some breweries are taking this pop-pandemic seriously. And for good reason. No one should have to eschew from brew, by choice or by chance. I recently tried Dogfish Head's Tweason'ale, and was pleasantly surprised. Here's what I have to say:
Image courtesy of lefthandhorrors.com
Wheat-beer color, sans the wheat! A sweet aroma, followed by distinct strawberry and honey tastes. Full up-front flavor that finishes nicely. Does a good job of hiding its gluten-freeness. A stiff 6%, difficult to quaff but easy to enjoy – if you don't mind a little (but not over-powering) sweetness in your beer. Regardless, quite nice on a sunny day.
So, unlike Red Bridge, Budweiser's pathetic excuse for a GF beer (yes, I understand singling out any one variety by Bud and calling it bad is an oxymoron), Dogfish Head's is quite palatable. But, it definitely differs from your typical strong ale, which was the brewers' intent. "While there are a few well-made examples that mirror traditional beer styles, there arent [sic] any off-centered offerings," explains Sam Calagione, the brewery's founder. This was my first GF beer, and if you're likewise looking to explore, New Planet, Bards, and Lakefront Brewery's New Grist would each be a fine starting line.
There's something to be said for saying it with sketch. In honor of No-To-GMO Month (October), here are fourteen politically poignant cartoons about Genetically Modified Organisms and the hands that spin the wheel.
Jeremy Seifert's documentary, GMO OMG, explores just WTF is in the food we eat.
To say that the debate over GMOs is hot right now is putting it lightly. It's scalding. Touch it with a whisper and someone's going to get burned. Unless you don't so much as skim magazine headlines in the checkout line or watch TV, or unless your Twitter feed is down, or your Facebook has been so ingeniously hacked that all politically unstable content is somehow totally blocked (which means your "social" life consists of Instagram food-porn, viral videos of adorable animals doing adorable things really adorably, and some dude you met once with the uncontrollable desire to tell the world that he's "just chillin with some ramen noodles watching my fav shows #Liveisgreat.") then you've undoubtably heard of GMOs, Genetically Modified Organisms. You may even know what they are, maybe even why they are bad for you. Wait, are they bad for you? Well, scientifically, we're not even sure.
ZOIKS! Scooby! It's not a ghost, it's High-Fructose!
Despite its geo-political proximity to the Florida, as well as its economical dependancy on U.S. imports, and an ever-adopting of American culture, The Bahamas' exposure to the outside world is not exclusively American. Our history ties us to Britain, Europe, and Africa; Brazilian and Chinese immigrants are on the rise; and our children return from studies abroad in countries such as Canada. But, our exposure to American news and media leaves Bahamians subject to American food/health jargon, which can compromise our health, because nutritional labelling is so varying.
We're all aware (or should be) of the hazards of High-Fructose Corn Syrup. Those who read nutrition labels know to steer clear of it; but High-Fructose Corn Syrup by any other name -- is still High-Fructose Corn Syrup. Next time you're in Super Value or Fresh Market buying jellies and jams, err away from those containing Glucose-Fructose Syrup: the British alias to the infamous High-Fructose Corn Syrup. Canadian products will label it Glucose/Fructose Syrup. Different name, same bad stuff.
From beer cans with built-in shotgunning tabs on the side to those ridiculous funnel hats "that guy" dons at sports games, beer has kicked opened numerous doors to cheeky inventors since Ancient Egypt. And, while I'd stake my taste for 2XIPAs that Pharaoh never buckled up a beer belt, there have been at least a handful of inventions that have been for the beer-good, inventions that don't focus on consumption, ergonomics (who the hell needs an ergonomic beer can? Screw you, Miller Lite), or air-flow (that's you, Coors!). The best beer inventions either benefit the beer itself, benefit the social aspect of drinking beer, or benefit both. With that in mind, I've opined my favorite of the best recent beer inventions, though, deciding my personal favorites was nothing if not difficult, with hours of schizophrenic self-debate, choosing whether to include the revolutionary Hop Cannon, or the Dogfish Head-Sierra Nevada collab IPA pint glass, or a UK design team's Fight-Friendly beer glass (though benefitting man-kind, let's face it, pub brawls are as British as pubs themselves). So, with no further adieu, the best beer inventions: (plus, honorable mentions and inventions that should never have been):
If you can read Romanian, check out http://where-the-strength-lies.blogspot.com, from where I snagged this decadent picture. If you can't read Romanian, have Google Translate read it for you.
"I swear they put crack in it!"
Was there ever a more frequently uttered statement than that as the Starbucks Virus pervaded throughout the continent over the last decade? Probably not. Did Starbucks really put crack cocaine in its coffee? Probably not. (Though, I wouldn't put it past Big Business... I mean, Coca-Cola thought it was a good idea, only eliminating trace amounts of cocaine from its secret recipe in 1929. True, by 1904 it was only 1/400 of a grain of cocaine per ounce of pop... I digress...) But maybe Starbucks is putting it in the airwaves; maybe that's why people go there so often. An abstract thought? Indeed. But, abstractions are the brain children of creativity. And a new product harnesses the findings of a University of Illinois study linking moderate noise levels to efficient creativity; moderate noise levels such as the those environing you in a popular coffee shop, per se.
A good marketing campaign deludes consumers, saying that Special K is exceptionally healthy and will lead to weight loss. In fact, without petite portions and strict adherence to healthy dieting and exercise, it could make that muffin top of yours poke out a bit more. Fact of the matter is, eating one small bowl of almost any cereal can help you lose weight. It's called portion control. This is an extended post comparing Special K products with Lucky Charms. Enjoy.
Check out more amazing photographs from this and other projects on the FTL website
Neon Luminescence
Illuminating waterfalls across Northern California with thousands of Cyalume glow sticks cascading like neon rainbows through the darkness into the pools below, Neon Luminescence, the new artistic endeavor by the boys at From The Lenz, aims to displace reality--or, at least, viewers' surety of real.
I honestly feel there is nothing cooler, more beautiful or inspiring, and certainly more difficult, than art. Incidentally, there are many forms of art--much of which defies beauty; much more defies modern conceptions of "art." (Which is good; it breaks down current conception, opening the door to new modern conceptions).
TheMona Lisa is considered art by everybody and is revered by everybody, most often because everybody has grown up able to identify The Mona Lisa, and told to revere it, without actually revering it, and often less impressed by its petite size. Conversely, the apartment building across the street may appear as art to few, and revered as art by few--indeed, perhaps only revered by a handful of tenants, impressive only to an architect. Two different examples of art, and the conceptual differences surrounding them. But, periodically, a piece emerges that only most convulsive contradictors could deny as art, and not revere or be impressed by as art.
Health crazes sprout likes weeds in the spring these days. I've covered Greek Yogurt in the past, and will get back to that later; and as soon as my hebetude abates, I'm going to explain why your healthy cereal is making you fat. But right now, I'm going to give a very brief info-mash about healthy nuts. The best nuts. And while my inner child (who, incidentally, is very superficial) could go on and on with an Austin Powers prowess in making too many crass innuendoes and puns about nuts, I'm going to get right to some straightforward info on almonds that you won't find on About [dot] com.
Perusing the perimeter of my purlieu, I stumbled across photographic article in The New Yorker by Suzanne Shaleen about a project by photographer Richard Rothman. The article is brief, a concise précis, if you will, of the actual way the events most likely played out in real life. But, article has it, Rothman had to leave his campsite in the North California Redwoods where he was shooting for a project called "Redwood Saw" to head into town for supplies. The town was Crescent City, which had experienced an economic boom back in the day, now sidelined as a run-down, glorified ghost town after. The project found new direction. The photos are in black and white, which casts the town and it's residents in a grim and sombre, but objective light.
I bitch a lot on this blog - particularly about things I can't stand, flaws prevalent in the human condition. I was going to start this entry (about something I L-O-V-E love) expressing hatred. I was going to start it off like this: "One thing I can't stand is bad beer." Instead, I'm going to feign cornucopian. Here we go.
A small assembly of the massive tap line at J.P. Henley's, St. Augustine, FL (photo: me)
